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, by Krystal Mazzola M.Ed LMFT
Download Ebook , by Krystal Mazzola M.Ed LMFT
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Product details
File Size: 1859 KB
Print Length: 147 pages
Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
Publisher: Althea Press (February 19, 2019)
Publication Date: February 19, 2019
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B07NF611YT
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When I first had the option to select to receive an advance copy of the Codependency book from the publisher for an honest review, I passed it by, thinking it was going to another pop culture light summary of the topic. How wrong I was. When I first opened the book to read the introduction, I actually got choked up and teared up, and became worried that this was such a personally touching topic that I would be able to read the book, just like I never go see theatre productions of “A Long Day’s Journey into Night,†because it struck too close to home. As I read her sentences describing growing up in a physically and verbally abusive alcoholic home, it was like she was writing my biography, only I was more one of the “lost†children where the author was a “scapegoat†in the ACOA adaptive roles.That said, this in only a cursory reading’s review of the book, because I am actually going to have to go through it very slowly because of the emotions it elicits and likely journal.I have to say after having done years upon years of Al-Anon, which was a wonderful start and foundation, that, I too found just circling around and around talking about it was not enough. I eventually segued to deeper Personal Growth and Development work.When I went to submit my review, because there was no Kindle version of the book, the Look Inside feature was not yet activated. Here, without robbing Mazzola of her Intellectual Property, is the TOC which you’d be able to see if you were in a physical bookstore and thumbing through this wonderful book to consider purchasing it, which I highly recommend you do:IntroductionPart One: Codependency: An Education 1Chapter 1: “I Need You to Need Me†2Chapter 2: Family Matters 24Part Two: The Steps 45Step 1: Get in Touch with Your “Self†45Step 2: Prioritize Self-Care 64Step 3: Build Boundaries 80Step 4: Maintain Open Communication 96Step 5: Nurture Intimacy 114Conclusion: Following the Path 134ResourcesReferencesIndexI raced right on over to Build Boundaries in Part Two because, really, in my such a childhood home, we didn’t know how to build boundaries, because even having the right to do so wasn’t there. So, I am always riveted to learn more about doing this better, because, now, years later after much, much growth and personal work, there are always additions layers which surface, not to be paralyzed by them, but where I can always learn more to gently peel away another layer of the onion, and I do choose that metaphor specifically, because when we peel an onion, there may be tears, which is part of the healing process.In Build Boundaries, Krystal addresses them with What Do You Want, which no one asked us when we were young, so really to answer that question can be a foundational breakthrough for many, or, as in my case, a useful exercise in peeling another layer of that onion.What Bothers You?Am I allowed and given permission now to be bothered? Anger was my late father’s monopoly. The rest of us weren’t permitted that emotion. Only he. So, examining this question always reveals MORE for me. Perhaps it will for you or your clients and patients as well.I like her practical exercise in creating your own boundaries, custom to you and your needs, as well as addressing It’s Ok To Set Boundaries. And while we are imagining and journaling about our new or revised boundaries, Mazzola also suggests some different kinds of boundaries to give us ideas as well as to make sure we consider all facets which our own wounding might make invisible to use when we brainstorm.Mazzola starts each chapter with a relevant case study which helps to illustrate the issue she addresses and each gives hope for being able to overcome the implications of the past and to do useful and helpful exercises and actions to live a better life going forward. I found the whole to be useful both for going through slowly, in a savoring manner, plus to revisit each of the topics and redo the exercises again in future months and years and discover more to use and benefit from.What a terrific resource for every LMFT and therapist working with Adult Children of Alcoholics and other Substance Dependencies and their families. This would make a wonderful addition to every therapy office’s reading room as well as those at Recovery Institutes, Rehab Venues (guess what, ACOAs can develop substance issues in teen years, young adult, as well as many years later, too. So reading this helpful book there could prove beneficial and shed light on the core of their problems as well.) and therapy centers and hospitals. This is the kind of present every adult ACOA could give to their siblings where each could do his/her own work, and then reconvene to share notes and learning.Highly recommend. I received an advance copy for an honest review from Callisto Publishing.
It's a very readable book. The author shows writing skill, keeps readers' attention, and easily guides them along the path. "The Co-dependency Recovery Plan: A 5-Step Guide to Understand, Accept, and Break Free from the Codependent Cycle" is a 170 page softback made to instruct and give practice. Krystal Mazzola is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist living in Phoenix, Arizona, co-owner and practicing therapist at Dantia Wellness, who has some skin in this rugby scrum called co-dependency. The manuscript is clearly written, and obviously intended for use as homework during therapy or in self-care.Mazzola leads readers and recoverers through a very simple set of explanations and exercises. She begins the volume with data, definitions and descriptions. Also, using the family systems model, she maps out the terrain of dysfunctional families and codependent family relationships. Then she takes up the task of giving the 5 steps for recovering from codependency: (1) get in touch with your "self"; (2) prioritize self-care; (3) build boundaries; (4) maintain open communications; and (5) nurture intimacy. In each step the author goes forward a few yards, and then coaches the recoverer through an exercise to help them take the information from the intellectual to the affectual. Checklists, journaling, and mental role-playing are just a few of the tools Mazzola uses.On the one hand "The Codependency Recovery Plan" is clearly a useful manual, written from the heart of one who has walked that path. On the other hand, I found myself unsatisfied by some of the approach and language. For example, it's pretty obvious that the author (whether she knows it or not) is traveling down the trail of Jungian Gnosticism. To paraphrase especially pages 46-50, "My real self is what's on the inside. I have to find the real me. My authentic self lies buried under my persona and needs to surface." I realize my contention may look skewed to some, but if my body, public personality, observable emotions, etc. are not also part of my authentic self, then "I" am trapped in a prison-house of creatureliness. And this Gnostic approach becomes more part of the disease than the remedy because, at the end of the day, it discounts my body-and-soul-ness.Further, in several places the author mentions "your own truth" and "your own reality"; "Building awareness of your own truth is an ongoing practice...the right to your own reality" (81, 85). I'm not sure what the author intended by those phrases. They may be nothing more than therapy-guild-language for asserting boundaries, questioning the oppressive characterizations of right and wrong made by abusive people, etc. But I found it highly problematic and relativistic. If she meant nothing more than asserting boundaries, etc. it is still troublesome language. And if she meant what these words sound like, then they are treacherous. Once, some time back, one of my grandsons and I sat down to play chess. When he began to lose, he started moving his chess pieces in ways that didn't fit the "truth" and "reality" of the game (the rules). When I challenged him, he would say, "In my world, this knight can move this way. In my world, the pawns can move that way." We had a serious talk about the benefits and values of rules, and how - though painful at times - rules promote fairness for all. Imagine if he were to continue along this path into adolescence and adulthood, "In my world...in my truth...in my reality..." There is a freight-train of harsh, cold realizations waiting for him."The Codependency Recovery Plan" is usable as homework in settings where people are being coached and counseled. Some folks who are not in therapy may find it beneficial as a guide to self-recovery. The author makes good observations and proposals throughout, especially in the areas of setting boundaries and keeping communication open. I recommend the book, with some scruples.My thanks to Althea Press for the free copy of the book used for this review, and sent to me at my request. And my thanks to them for not mandating what kind of review I was to write, other than that it be my own honest evaluation. This assessment is freely made and freely given.
Excellent, extremely helpful, well written, relatable, wise, with solid methods for codependency.I especially enjoyed the light references to Buddhist philosophy, as Buddha was the first psychologist and the wisest psychologist and taught the only, all encompassing and complete solution to all sufferings plaguing the mind and body.I received my copy as a complimentary sample from the publisher. I was not required to provide a review. I reccomend this book.I received my copy as a sample from the publisher and was
I got this book as I want to understand how to accept and break free from my codependency cycle as we all have codependency. This book was hard because you have to get in touch with yourself and who you are which is something I've never done I've always worried about everybody else and took care of them. So I had to sit and reflect on who I was and what I wanted because it's something I've never done before. I did learn many skills to help me become a stronger and more confident woman.
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